Tell Me Who Your Friends Are, and I'll Tell You Who Are

 

We are made different from each other... not anymore? 

People are natural born conformers.  Yes, we may be made different from each other. But most of the time and unconsciously, we imitate how people around us act, from the way they dress, down to the simplest expressions that trend. We are most likely to choose who to conform with, but sometimes, it goes out of control. There are cases wherein people are just trying to please the group he or she wants to belong to, to the extent of denying him/herself. 

Studies show that people change their behavior, according to the group they are currently with (Tajfel, et al, 1971). People has the ability to change their conduct as soon as their companions change. This may sound like everyone's naturally pretentious, but it is the reality. 

Looking for some information about this phenomenon, I came across an article entitled "Why Groups and Prejudices Form Easily: Social Identity Theory," written by Jeremy Dean. It was about how people support a group they belong to, and how they tend to act similarly with them. The article also includes the study of Tajfel, and his experiment about that resulted to supporting the social identity theory.

"Tajfel argued that people build their own identities from their group memberships. For example, think of each of the groups you belong to: say at work, or within your family. Part of who you are is probably defined by these groups. Putting it the other way around: the nature of your group memberships define your identity."

This statement summarizes the social identity theory. It can make some people go defensive, saying that I am who I am because that's who I am; but then again, conformity oftentimes happens without us being aware of it.

Saying such things like "I don't conform, I just want to get along with them" doesn't change the fact that people adopt some of the major characteristics of the group they spend time with. There's really nothing in conforming. Sometimes, it is better to conform than to be an outcast or be hated by the people around you. But not to the point of totally pleasing others, and losing your dignity; or not being you anymore. We also have to look for the people that we really get along with, those who are somehow like us or those who are willing to accept us in their lives.